The Top 19 Signs Your Psychic Is a Phony 19> Keeps shaking black "crystal ball," then saying,

The Top 19 Signs Your Psychic Is a Phony

19> Keeps shaking black "crystal ball," then saying, "Ask again
later."

18> Tells you you're going to die but doesn't exactly know when
or how.

17> Every time you draw the Death card, she yells "Go Fish!"

16> Looks suspiciously like that guy who fixed your muffler last
week.

15> Brunswick insignia on "crystal ball."

14> His idea of an "out of body experience" involves whipped cream
and women's clothing.

13> Instead of a Oujia board, has a Wedgie board.

12> During seance, shouts in voice of Wolfman Jack, "Milli Vanilli
will be back!"

11> His spoon bending requires two pliers.

10> Sign in window: "As Seen on '60 Minutes.'"

9> During card-reading, asks if you want to "hit" or "stand."

8> Insists that your astrological sign is "The Armadillo."

7> Psychics Magazine rates her just below fortune cookies, just
above your mom.

6> Repeatedly attempts to read your palm with his genitalia.

5> Shakes her crystal ball, then predicts a large snowstorm.

4> Easily fooled by 'Can of Snakes' gag.

3> Sonics in 4.

2> "Ethereal Aroma of the Kindred Spirits" effect during seance
only occurs after a chili-dog lunch.


and the Number 1 Sign Your Psychic Is a Phony...


1> Just keeps saying in his Mr. T voice, "My prediction: Pain!"



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