The Top 15 Things Overheard at the Baseball All-Star Game
15> "Says who he can't hit? I've seen him hit the 3rd base ump in
the eye with a lugie from the dugout!"
14> "Glad I got here early. I got to see Marge Schott throw out
the first slur."
13> "Sorry, kid -- this section is reserved for parole officers."
12> Announcer: "He's rounding third... Holy cow, I think he's gonna
make it..." Third Base Coach: "Stop right there! Before you
go any further, do you love me?"
11> "That Roberto Alomar is the spittin' image of his brother,
Sandy!"
10> "Albert Belle's not playing? Now where am I gonna throw all
these beers?!!"
9> "Then she says to me, 'I can't wait to see the Big Unit in
action.' What would *you* have done, officer?"
8> "Ripken called. Said his throat feels scratchy so he's staying
home today."
7> "Is it just me, or do these hot dogs seem a little light on the
pig snouts and rodent hairs and a little heavy on the cow lips?"
6> "He's got two balls on 'im."
5> "Sorry to disappoint you, Mrs. Schott, but they're doing the
'Tomahawk chop,' not saluting Hitler."
4> "Hey, Gwynn -- Leave some Big Macs for the President!"
3> "Well it's an unusual defensive move, but there *is* no rule
which specifically prohibits defecating on third base."
2> "Alright, you got yourself a bet, Mr. Rose!!"
and the Number 1 Thing Overheard at the Baseball All-Star Game...
1> "Yes, Mr. Costas, in Cleveland, dating LeAnn Rimes *would* be
considered a felony."
This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc.
The Top Five List top5@walrus.com http://www.topfive.com
15> "Says who he can't hit? I've seen him hit the 3rd base ump in
the eye with a lugie from the dugout!"
14> "Glad I got here early. I got to see Marge Schott throw out
the first slur."
13> "Sorry, kid -- this section is reserved for parole officers."
12> Announcer: "He's rounding third... Holy cow, I think he's gonna
make it..." Third Base Coach: "Stop right there! Before you
go any further, do you love me?"
11> "That Roberto Alomar is the spittin' image of his brother,
Sandy!"
10> "Albert Belle's not playing? Now where am I gonna throw all
these beers?!!"
9> "Then she says to me, 'I can't wait to see the Big Unit in
action.' What would *you* have done, officer?"
8> "Ripken called. Said his throat feels scratchy so he's staying
home today."
7> "Is it just me, or do these hot dogs seem a little light on the
pig snouts and rodent hairs and a little heavy on the cow lips?"
6> "He's got two balls on 'im."
5> "Sorry to disappoint you, Mrs. Schott, but they're doing the
'Tomahawk chop,' not saluting Hitler."
4> "Hey, Gwynn -- Leave some Big Macs for the President!"
3> "Well it's an unusual defensive move, but there *is* no rule
which specifically prohibits defecating on third base."
2> "Alright, you got yourself a bet, Mr. Rose!!"
and the Number 1 Thing Overheard at the Baseball All-Star Game...
1> "Yes, Mr. Costas, in Cleveland, dating LeAnn Rimes *would* be
considered a felony."
This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc.
The Top Five List top5@walrus.com http://www.topfive.com
Related:
- Things Overheard at the World Series
16> "...and now,
here's the new owner of the Marlins, Mr. Tony... - A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Texan, and a Mexican are flying in a plane.
The pilot explains to her passengers that the plane... - What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)...
Chain Saw:
( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can... - W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<<<
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while... - Your Baseball Team Isn't Doing Well
15> Your owner is named Marge and it appears there *is* a God.
14> Your team is a mile high and it's *not* the Rockies... - The Top 15 Things Overheard in Roswell, NM, This Week
15> "Man,
I coulda saved NASA a heap o' money. I done been to... - Signs a Romance Novel has been Plagiarized
15> Hero rips open heroine's bodice and gasps,
"Bosoms are like a box of chocolates. You never... - This is a true story told by a friend of mine. It happened to a girl she knew.
There was this girl driving along the highway, when... - LIFE IN THE SLAW LANE
by Kip Adotta
It was Cucumber the First;
Summer was over. I had just spinached a long day and...
From the same category:
- The Cow
What do you call a cow with two legs?
lean beef... - The United States is The Best Country on The Face of The Earth
10.
Even lowly interns can meet the President. 9. Them... - Patient, Planter, What's The Difference?
A CEO-type was in the hospital,
being treated for a minor deal. For a week he'd made... - Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. That's a hardware problem... - Top Ten Signs You're at a Bad Barbecue
10. Everything on the grill has a long,
thin tail 9. To avoid burning, chicken breasts are...
