The Top 15 Things Overheard in Roswell, NM, This Week 15> "Man,

The Top 15 Things Overheard in Roswell, NM, This Week

15> "Man, I coulda saved NASA a heap o' money. I done been to Mars
and it ain't nuthin' but a buncha rocks."

14> "Isn't that Larry King down on one knee with that alien?"

13> "Alright, everyone, listen up: Heaven's Gate cult freaks in
this line, drunk rednecks in this line, and X-Philes and
Trekkies over there."

12> "Fifteen bucks to view an alien colostomy bag?"

11> "False alarm, everyone, calm down! And you two, put that
Frisbee away, for cryin' out loud!"

10> "Better get another case of aluminum foil and some more wire --
these Genuine Alien Artifacts is sellin' like hotcakes!"

9> "What they *also* won't tell you is that one of them Kennedy
boys was a-drivin' when they crashed."

8> "Hey, Dude, when does Garcia start playing?"

7> "They're *not* dead! I'm telling you... Kurault was driving,
Sagan held me down and Cousteau worked the probe!"

6> "...And when the alien returned our son to us, he left us this
lone sequined glove."

5> "So then they took me onto their ship and probed me. And like
a fool, I believed it was 'special' and they would 'call me.'
Aliens are scum, Marge -- When am I gonna learn?"

4> "...and I hear they's the ones what gave us Cheeze Whiz."

3> "Programs, getcher programs here! Can't tell the cover-ups
without a program!"

2> "Hey, Eunice, pass me the Sterno."


and the Number 1 Thing Overheard in Roswell, NM, This Week...


1> "Hey there, Sweetness. How'dya like a close encounter of the
Earl kind?"


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