Top Ten Summer Fun Tips from the Unabomber
10. Light-colored, loose-fitting hooded sweatshirts
9. If you're having trouble lighting the barbecue, try Napalm
8. Many resorts offer fabulous "troubled loner discount packages"
7. Next to your 10 by 12 foot shack, build a 1 by 2 foot guest
shack
6. Join your dog for a refreshing flea dip
5. For an extra kick, fill water balloons with nitroglycerine
4. Make your own sunscreen out of swamp water and rabbit entrails *
3. Go to beach, make clumsy passes at women, get turned down, plot
revenge
2. Properly placed charges can make any rental car a convertible
1. Get wacky new bumper sticker: "Unabombers Do It With a Bang"
(C) 1997 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. All Rights Reserved
10. Light-colored, loose-fitting hooded sweatshirts
9. If you're having trouble lighting the barbecue, try Napalm
8. Many resorts offer fabulous "troubled loner discount packages"
7. Next to your 10 by 12 foot shack, build a 1 by 2 foot guest
shack
6. Join your dog for a refreshing flea dip
5. For an extra kick, fill water balloons with nitroglycerine
4. Make your own sunscreen out of swamp water and rabbit entrails *
3. Go to beach, make clumsy passes at women, get turned down, plot
revenge
2. Properly placed charges can make any rental car a convertible
1. Get wacky new bumper sticker: "Unabombers Do It With a Bang"
(C) 1997 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. All Rights Reserved
Related:
- Top Ten President Clinton Summer Fun Tips
10. If you use Crisco instead of suntan lotion,
you can fry burgers on your chest 9. "Accidentally"... - Top Ten Way's O.J. Is Searching For The Real Killers
10.
Gets on white courtesy phone at airports, has them... - Top Ten Other Failed McDonald's Promotions
10. One millionth customer gets to sit naked in fryolator
9.
Big Macs with patties the size of flyin' saucers! ... - Things That Will Get You Kicked Out of the Miss Teen USA Pageant
10.
Use interview portion to plug your phone-sex line ... - Demands of Striking UPS Workers
10. Goodbye boring brown trucks,
hello bit****' red Ferraris 9. Permission to smack... - Top Ten Things That Will Get You Suspended by Major League Baseball
10.
Secretly switching the Gatorade with the urine samples... - Top Ten Dave Letterman's Summer Plans
10. Stop drinking in the den,
start drinking on the porch 9. Catch every Lollapalooza... - Signs You're at a Bad Resort
10. Olympic-sized pool filled with olympic-sized leeches
9.
Seniors' shuffleboard tournament is clothing optional... - Top Ten Signs the N.Y.P.D. Is Out Of Control
10. Besides handcuffs,
officers carrying chains and leather whips 9. Many...
From the same category:
- Dead Men Read No Mail
My father died on Jan 02, 1995.
He left no forwarding address. Therefore, it fell... - Scariest Halloween Costumes
12> Al Gore Disco Fever Costume
11> Positive Home Pregnancy Test
10> Jacko-Lantern
9> Marge Schott's Less Attractive,
Slightly More Racist Sister ... - Least Scary Halloween Costumes
12> Al Gore on 'ludes
11> Deepak Chopra's Cape of Understanding and World Harmony
10> Bob,
the Bored Top Five Contributor 9> Pissed-Off... - spell checkers (poem)
Spelling Checkers.
I have a spelling checker
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue ... - Q: How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: What kind of answer did you have in mind...
