IDIOTS *GOING* TO PRISON A woman was reporting her car,

IDIOTS *GOING* TO PRISON

A woman was reporting her car, which she had been attempting to sell,
as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car phone in it. The
policeman taking the report called the phone, and told the guy that
answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy
the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.

Police in Cottonwood, Idaho, were amused when they arrived to write
up a burglary, and the homeowner told them that the thief got his
VCR, his bong, and his stash of marijuana. Luckily, however, the
thief had missed his marijuana pipe. The police ticketed the guy for
possession of drug paraphernalia.

45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a
mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were
packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to
the mechanic for an oil change. According to police, Brasher later
said that she didn't realize that the mechanic would have to raise
the hood to change the oil.

The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 7:50am, flashed a gun and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered
onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast.
The man, frustrated, walked away.

David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I, after
allegedly knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the
closest four bags of money. It turned out they contained $800 in
PENNIES, weighed 30 pounds each, and slowed him to a stagger during
his getaway so that police officers easily jumped him from behind.

The Belgium news agency Belga reported in November that a man
suspected of robbing a jewelry store in Liege said he couldn't have
done it *because he was busy breaking into a school at the same
time.* Police then arrested him for breaking into the school.

Drug-possession defendant Christopher Johns, on trial in March in
Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The
prosecutor said the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge"
in Christopher's jacket could have been a gun. Nonsense, said
Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in
court. He handed it over so the judge could see it. The judge
discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he
required a five-minute recess to compose himself.