HOW TO KNOW YOUR GROWING OLDER: 1. Everything hurts

HOW TO KNOW YOUR GROWING OLDER:

1. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
2. Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
3. You get winded playing chess.
4. You're still chasing women, but don't remember why.
5. You look forward to a dull evening.
6. You turn out the light for economic rather then romantic
reasons.
7. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
8. Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
9. Dailing long distance wears you out.
10. Your back goes out more than you do.
11. Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a
pretty girl go by.
12. You sink youe teeth into a steak and they stay there.
13. A fortune teller offers to read your face.
14. You got to much room in the house and not enough in the medicine
cabinet.
15. Your children look middle aged.
16. You regret all those mistakes resisting temptation.
17. You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.