Homer: [excited] Wait till I tell Marge! Nigel: [with consternation] Oh,

Homer: [excited] Wait till I tell Marge!
Nigel: [with consternation] Oh, yes...Bouffant Betty. Well, I would
prefer if we kept your marriage a secret. You see, a lot of
women are going to want to have _sex_ with you, and, er, we want
them to think they _can_.
Homer: Well, if I explain it to Marge _that_ way, I'm sure she'll
understand.
[scene change to the Simpson home]
Marge: [cries loudly]
Homer: [trying to placate her] C'mon, honey! It'll only be until we
finish our tour of Sweden.
-- Homer, master comforter, "Homer's Barbershop Quartet"