Homer: ...so they say I might have a problem.
[finishes brushing his teeth, and polishes off a bottle of that
wonderful Duff]
Marge: [reading from a pamphlet entitled, "Is Your Spouse a Souse?"]
Homey, do you ever drink alone?
Homer: Does the Lord count as a person?
Marge: No.
Homer: Then yes.
Marge: Do you need a beer to fall asleep?
Homer: Thank you, that'd be nice.
Marge: Do you ever hide beer around the house?
Homer: Do I ever!
[fetches a beer from its hiding place in the toilet tank, and
takes a swig] Ahhhh.
Marge: Do you ever drink to escape from reality.
Homer: [looks in the mirror and imagines himself as a big muscular guy]
[to "Can-Can"] Duhh, duh duh duh duh duuh duuh, duh duh duh duh
duuh duuh, duh duh duh duh duh, duh duh duh duh...
Marge: Homey, I'd like you to do something for me.
Homer: You name it.
Marge: I want you to give up beer for a month.
Homer: You got it. No deer for a month.
Marge: Did you say beer, or deer?
Homer: .... Deer.
Marge: Please, Homey, I know you can do this.
Homer: All right, starting tomorrow no beer for a month.
[puts the light out. We can hear the sound of a can popping
open]
Marge: What was that noise?
Homer: I was saying, "Psssst, I love you."
-- "Duffless"
[finishes brushing his teeth, and polishes off a bottle of that
wonderful Duff]
Marge: [reading from a pamphlet entitled, "Is Your Spouse a Souse?"]
Homey, do you ever drink alone?
Homer: Does the Lord count as a person?
Marge: No.
Homer: Then yes.
Marge: Do you need a beer to fall asleep?
Homer: Thank you, that'd be nice.
Marge: Do you ever hide beer around the house?
Homer: Do I ever!
[fetches a beer from its hiding place in the toilet tank, and
takes a swig] Ahhhh.
Marge: Do you ever drink to escape from reality.
Homer: [looks in the mirror and imagines himself as a big muscular guy]
[to "Can-Can"] Duhh, duh duh duh duh duuh duuh, duh duh duh duh
duuh duuh, duh duh duh duh duh, duh duh duh duh...
Marge: Homey, I'd like you to do something for me.
Homer: You name it.
Marge: I want you to give up beer for a month.
Homer: You got it. No deer for a month.
Marge: Did you say beer, or deer?
Homer: .... Deer.
Marge: Please, Homey, I know you can do this.
Homer: All right, starting tomorrow no beer for a month.
[puts the light out. We can hear the sound of a can popping
open]
Marge: What was that noise?
Homer: I was saying, "Psssst, I love you."
-- "Duffless"
Related:
- screen: "Third season"]
Marge: Well, Homer, maybe you can take some consolation in the fact that
something you created is making so many people happy.
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pug-nosed... Marge: Well, Homer, maybe you can get... - Apu: Sir, it may surprise you to know that _I_ am an immigrant.
Homer: You? Pfft, get out. -- Well, duh, "Much Apu... - Goodman: Now, who knows how the Skinners could have resolved this
problem?
[everyone puts their hands up] Without resorting... - Bart: Mr. Burns, I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I want to
go home to my family.
Burns: [sighs] I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell... - Burns: The watchdog of public safety...is there any lower form of
life?
Smithers: Don't worry sir, I rounded up our less gifted... - Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish. Caresses it, experience it... - Homer: Hey! I never noticed _this_ place.
Bart: Dad,
it's right across the street from us! That fancy house'll... - Duh. . . I didn't know FORMAT C:
did that...
