Gladys: To my sister Jackie, I leave my pet Iguana, Jub-Jub.
Jackie: Why didn't she just leave me the bowel obstruction that
killed her?
-- "Selma's Choice"
Jackie: Why didn't she just leave me the bowel obstruction that
killed her?
-- "Selma's Choice"
Related:
- Selma: Make sure my iguana's okay.
Troy: Selma, Jub-Jub is fantastic.
He's everywhere you wanna be. [shows Selma her room]... - Selma: Oh, Jub-Jub.
Patty: When I went to pick him up,
Mom was trying to stab him with a hat pin. ... - My wife doesn't give me any trouble anymore. She died.
I had her cremated. I mixed in a little marijuana... - Gladys: "... and that has made all the difference." Now let's get down
to business.
[Hutz's voice on the tape] To my executor, Lionel ... - Hi, I'm Lionel Hutz, executor of Gladys Bouvier's estate.
She left a video will, so I earn my fee simply by pressing... - I idolized my mother. I didn't realize she was a lousy cook until I went
into the Army.
Jackie... - Patty: [walks up to the podium] Take a hike, bozo. And that eulogy
better not show up on the bill.
I'll keep this short. Gladys lived alone, died alone... - Gladys: To Marge, I leave my potato chips that resemble celebrities.
They're all here -- Otto von Bismarck, Maurice Chevalier... - I have enough money to last me the rest of my life,
unless I buy something. -- Jackie...
From the same category:
- Lisa: I can't believe you're not still popular.
Bart:
What'd you do? Screw up like the Beatles and say you... - Ralph: Um, Miss Hoover? There's a dog in the vent.
Hoover: Ralph, remember the time you said Snagglepuss... - My best-laid plans have gang agley!
-- Sideshow Bob,
poetic to the end, "The Return of Sideshow... - Bart: [muttering] Stupid family.
Nelson: Hey, Simpson,
look what I swiped from Try-N-Save: it's a ... - Ned: So, if you're looking for a half-bag of charcoal briquettes
or an artificial Christmas tree (trunk only),
come on over to the Hibbert table, pronto...
