Homer: Here's good news! According to this eye-catching article,
SAT scores are declining at a slower rate!
Lisa: Dad, I think this paper is a flimsy hodgepodge of pie graphs,
factoids and Larry King.
Homer: Hey, this is the only paper in America that's not afraid to tell
the truth, that everything is just fine.
-- Reading US of A TODAY, "Homer Defined"
SAT scores are declining at a slower rate!
Lisa: Dad, I think this paper is a flimsy hodgepodge of pie graphs,
factoids and Larry King.
Homer: Hey, this is the only paper in America that's not afraid to tell
the truth, that everything is just fine.
-- Reading US of A TODAY, "Homer Defined"
Related:
- Homer: Fine. I can have a great time all by myself.
Lisa: Hey Dad, I think state and federal laws require... - Lisa: [reading the classifieds] Hey, here's a good job,
Dad! Oh, wait, you have to know how to operate... - Homer: [wobbly] Here you go, honey. [drops a can of Duff into a
bag]
That's about all the recycling *hic* I can handle today.
Lisa: Dad, if you just drink one more I'll have a full... - Bart: Hey, Homer, how come Mom's going to the doctor?
Lisa: Is anything wrong? Homer: No, everything's fine... - Homer: All right, how much do you charge?
Zweig: If money's a problem,
I charge on a sliding scale. I can go as low... - Bart: So whoever it is who wrote that note wants to meet us here
tonight?
Lisa: This is so cool, Bart. We're just like Woodward... - I was reading the Christian Science Monitor. The news in that paper is just
as terrible as it is in the other papers,
only you think it's better. -- Goodman... - Barney: So next time somebody tells you carney folk are good,
honest people, you can spit in their faces... - Lisa: Dad?
Homer: Yes, honey?
Lisa: Um...Mom just baked a cake.
Homer: Ooh! [walks into kitchen] Huh? Marge: Homer...
