Homer: You didn't expect that, did you. And neither will he.
Bart: You mean that I should fight dirty, Dad?
Homer: Unfortunately, son, we Simpsons sometimes have to bend the rules
a little in order to hold our own.
Bart: Amen!
Homer: So the next time this bully thinks you're going to throw a punch,
you throw a glob of mud in his eye!
And then you sock him [pounds fist into hand] when he staggers
around blinded!
Bart: [getting into it] Yeah!
Homer: And there's nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is
turned.
Bart: Gotcha.
Homer: [quietly] And if you get the chance, get him right in the family
jewels. That little doozy's been a Simpson trademark for
generations. [punches the punching bag down low]
Bart: [cringes] Thanks, Pop.
-- The rules of the schoolyard, Simpson style,
"Bart the General"
Bart: You mean that I should fight dirty, Dad?
Homer: Unfortunately, son, we Simpsons sometimes have to bend the rules
a little in order to hold our own.
Bart: Amen!
Homer: So the next time this bully thinks you're going to throw a punch,
you throw a glob of mud in his eye!
And then you sock him [pounds fist into hand] when he staggers
around blinded!
Bart: [getting into it] Yeah!
Homer: And there's nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is
turned.
Bart: Gotcha.
Homer: [quietly] And if you get the chance, get him right in the family
jewels. That little doozy's been a Simpson trademark for
generations. [punches the punching bag down low]
Bart: [cringes] Thanks, Pop.
-- The rules of the schoolyard, Simpson style,
"Bart the General"
Related:
- Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish. Caresses it, experience it... - Homer: Welcome to the Simpson residence or "casa de Simpson," as I
call it.
Grimes: Yeah, what did you want to see me about,... - Bart: Please, Dad.
Homer: No.
Bart: Please, Dad.
Homer:
No. Bart: Please, Dad. Homer: No. Bart: Please, Dad... - Bart: Well, I had a run-in with a... bully.
Marge:
[bursts in] A bully!? Homer: [annoyed] Come on, Marge... - Bart: [Daniel Stern's voice, a la Wonder Years] Me?
Get a job? Were they serious? I didn't realize... - One day you may achieve something that we Simpsons have dreamed about
for generations.
You may outsmart someone. -- Homer Simpson ... - Homer: Son, I know you're upset because you thought you saw us on TV
saying we didn't want you in our family.
But those were just actors playing us! Bart... - Homer: [yelling to be heard] You really did it this time,
Bart! You're in for the punishment of a lifetime... - Homer: [asleep on the couch, drool dripping out of his mouth]
Bart+Lisa:
Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore? Homer: No...
