Homer: Save a guy's life, and what do you get?

Homer: Save a guy's life, and what do you get? Nothing! Worse than
nothing! Just a big scary rock.
Bart: Hey, man, don't bad-mouth the head.
Marge: Homer, it's the thought that counts. The moral of the story is a
good deed is its own reward.
Bart: Hey, we <got> a reward. The head is cool.
Marge: Then... I guess the moral is no good deed goes unrewarded.
Homer: Wait a minute. If I hadn't written that nasty letter, we
wouldn't've gotten anything.
Marge: Well... Then I guess the moral is the squeaky wheel gets the
grease.
Lisa: Perhaps there is no moral to this story.
Homer: Exactly! Just a bunch of stuff that happened.
Marge: But it certainly was a memorable few days.
Homer: Amen to that!
[laughter all around]
-- We don't need no steenkin' morals, "Blood Feud"