Miss Hoover: [shakily] Children, I won't be staying long.
I just came from the doctor, and I have lyme disease.
Principal Skinner will run the class until a substitute
arrives.
Ralph: What's lyme disease?
Pr. Skinner: I'll field that one. [goes to blackboard] Lyme disease
is spread by small parasites called `ticks'. [writes
`TICKS' on blackboard] When a diseased tick attaches
itself to you, it begins sucking your blood...
Miss Hoover: [not calmed] Oh...
Pr. Skinner: Malignant spirochetes infect your bloodstream, eventually
spreading to your spinal fluid and on into the brain.
Miss Hoover: The brain!? Oh, dear God...
Class: Wow!
-- "Lisa's Substitute"
I just came from the doctor, and I have lyme disease.
Principal Skinner will run the class until a substitute
arrives.
Ralph: What's lyme disease?
Pr. Skinner: I'll field that one. [goes to blackboard] Lyme disease
is spread by small parasites called `ticks'. [writes
`TICKS' on blackboard] When a diseased tick attaches
itself to you, it begins sucking your blood...
Miss Hoover: [not calmed] Oh...
Pr. Skinner: Malignant spirochetes infect your bloodstream, eventually
spreading to your spinal fluid and on into the brain.
Miss Hoover: The brain!? Oh, dear God...
Class: Wow!
-- "Lisa's Substitute"
Related:
- Miss Hoover: You see, class, my lyme disease turned out to be
[spells it on the board] psychosomatic.
Ralph: Does that mean you're crazy? Student 2... - a scream is heard from the room above]
Skinner: Bart Simpson!
I know it's you! -- Principal Skinner fills in for... - 1: Did you hear about Miss Hoover?
She drank a bottle of drain cleaner by mistake.
2: Oh, I heard she fell down a well. [Principal... - Lisa: Ohhh, my family just doesn't understand my new found
vegetarianism.
Compared to them the public schools are a haven ... - Hoover: Now, here's an oral extra-credit question. What was Christopher
Columbus actually looking for when he discovered America?
Lisa: [puts her hand up] Ooh! Ooh! Hoover: Anyone... - Lisa: Aah! It's the beating of that hideous heart!
[everyone looks at her] I mean, I think I... - Skinner: Ooh, now we're into the dregs. Here's Ralph Wiggum's entry.
[pulls sheet off] Pre-packaged "Star Wars"... - Skinner: Ah, "Diorama-Rama", my favorite school event next to "Hearing-
Test Thursday". [he and Miss Hoover walk... - Hoover: OK, our next entry is "The Tell-Tale Heart" by Alison Taylor.
Skinner: Mmm, I can't wait to see this. [low voice]...
From the same category:
- Marge: I'm worried about the kids, Homey. Lisa's becoming very
obsessive.
This morning I caught her trying to dissect her own... - Hibbert: You have an absolutely unique genetic condition known as "Homer
Simpson syndrome".
Homer: [moaning] Oh, why me? -- "The Homer They... - Ahem. This is a videotape for my daughter Maggie. Hi,
Maggie! I'm speaking to you from beyond the grave... - Homer: We're going out, Marge! If we don't come back,
avenge our deaths! [sets off, carrying Bart... - Tourist: Hey, this isn't faux dive. This is a dive.
Moe: You're a long way from home, yuppie boy....
