Bart: But Dad! I've never won anything in my life!

Related:

• Son, this is the only time I'm ever gonna say this.
  It is not okay to lose. -- Homer Simpson...
• Homer: Remember what Vince Lombardi said: If you lose you're out of the family!
  Marge: Homer! [slap] Homer: Ow. -- words of encouragement...
• Homer: Keep your left arm straight, Bart! Rotate your shoulders!
  Lisa+Bart: Daaaad! Homer: Look son, all I'm asking...
• Homer: Hey, boy, wake up. Your old man found some deer.
  Bart: Huh? You did? Bart: Hey, wait, man. Those...
• Bart: Please don't make me stay, dad. I'll do anything you say.
  I'll find religion! I'll be good sometimes! Homer...
• Mm. I <was> going to wash my hair... -- Marge,
  after Homer suggests the family go miniature golfing...
• Marge: Homer, I couldn't help overhearing you warp Bart's mind.
  Homer: And? -- "Dead Putting...
• Homer: [reading Ned's letter] "You are my brother." Homer+Lisa+Bart:
  [giggle] Homer: "I love you." Homer+Lisa+Bart: [laugh]...
• Keep your head down, follow through. [Bart putts and misses] Okay,
  that didn't work. This time, move your head and don't...