Man: I'm sorry, Mr. Burns, but I must object. This Simpson is not
qualified!
[There are nods of agreement]
Burns: I see. Well, you know, fellows, I look at the admissions board a
lot like a baseball team. You all like baseball, don't you?
[Everyone assents]
Yes, well, to have a successful baseball club, you need teamwork,
[Smithers hands him a baseball bat] not some hot-dog admissions
officer playing by his own rules!
[Burns starts hitting the man in the head with almost no force]
Man: [noticing] Er, excuse me, what are you doing?
Burns: I'm giving you the [grunt] beating of your life!
Man: Look, if -- stop that! -- you wanted him that badly, why didn't
you just say so?
Burns: [collapses from exertion] Smithers, dismember the corpse and send
his widow a corsage.
-- "Homer Goes to College"
qualified!
[There are nods of agreement]
Burns: I see. Well, you know, fellows, I look at the admissions board a
lot like a baseball team. You all like baseball, don't you?
[Everyone assents]
Yes, well, to have a successful baseball club, you need teamwork,
[Smithers hands him a baseball bat] not some hot-dog admissions
officer playing by his own rules!
[Burns starts hitting the man in the head with almost no force]
Man: [noticing] Er, excuse me, what are you doing?
Burns: I'm giving you the [grunt] beating of your life!
Man: Look, if -- stop that! -- you wanted him that badly, why didn't
you just say so?
Burns: [collapses from exertion] Smithers, dismember the corpse and send
his widow a corsage.
-- "Homer Goes to College"
Related:
- Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish. Caresses it, experience it... - Burns: [groaning] Ohh! I need some more ether. I can still feel the
movement of the emory board.
Smithers: [checks bottle] We're fresh out, Sir. I'll... - All but Homer: Come on, Homer! Come on, Homer!
Pretend this is baseball and hit us a homer!
[Homer gets a strike; they cheer] Homer: By... - Smithers: [chuckles] Perfect. When I give the signal,
you transfer the call to Mr. Burns. After she tears... - Smithers: [over intercom] Principal Skinner, this is your secretary.
There is one last student here to see you. Skinner... - Burns: The one who shot me was...[camera pans to Smithers]
Aah!
Aah! Waylon Smithers! Smithers: [pained] Noo! Wait... - Burns: [looking up from his magazine] Smithers, what's the meaning
of this slacking off?
Smithers: Uh, there's a bee in my eye, sir. Burns... - Smithers: Er, um, there's some candy right here, Sir.
[points to a box] Why don't we eat this instead... - Burns: [gasps at his sight] Good Lord, Smithers, you look atrocious.
I thought I told you to take a vacation. Homer...
