Homer: [growls in frustration] Lisa: Dad, don't let these application essays throw you.

Homer: [growls in frustration]
Lisa: Dad, don't let these application essays throw you. Let's see:
"List your three favorite books and how they've influenced your
life."
Homer: Is "TV Guide" a book?
Lisa: No.
Homer: "Son of Sniglet"?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Katherine Hepburn's "Me"?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Oh, I suck.
-- "Reading Digest" counts, though,
"Homer Goes to College"

Related:

• Homer: Kids, I wanna give you some words to remember me by,
  if something happens. Let's see...er...Oh,...
• Homer: Ooh la la! Lisa: Hi, Dad. Homer: You look great,
  sweetheart. Lisa: [abashed] Thanks. Homer: Little...
• Homer: Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm.
  Lisa: That's spacious reasoning, Dad. Homer: Thank...
• Marge: Please, Homer, can't we try it? [going to a sushi bar] Homer:
  No. Lisa: Please, Dad, this argument humiliates us...
• Homer: But come on, we all know this is small potatoes.
  There's a danger in this town that is bigger...
• Oh, I love your magazine. My favorite section is `How to Increase Your Word Power.' That thing is really,
  really, really ... good. -- Homer Simpson Mr...
• Lisa: My conscience is bothering me. Homer: Your conscience!
  Lisa, don't let that pushy little weenie tell...
• Homer: Lisa, honey, are you going to be OK? Lisa: Bleeding Gums was my hero and I never got to tell him how I felt.
  Homer: Oh, I'm sure he knew, and I'm sure that wherever...
• Homer watches TV] Lisa: [walking in with Bart,
  blocks Homer's view of TV] Dad? [Homer...