Hutz: All right, gentlemen, I'll take your case. But I'm going to have
to ask for a thousand-dollar retainer.
Bart: A thousand dollars? But your ad says "No money down".
[shows his paper ad: "Works on contingency basis. No money
down."]
Hutz: Oh! They got this all screwed up...
[makes a few corrections: "Works on contingency basis? No, money
down!"]
Bart: So you _don't_ work on a contingency basis?
Hutz: No, money down! Oops, it shouldn't have this Bar Association logo
here either.
-- Rewriting the laws by himself,
"The Day the Violence Died"
to ask for a thousand-dollar retainer.
Bart: A thousand dollars? But your ad says "No money down".
[shows his paper ad: "Works on contingency basis. No money
down."]
Hutz: Oh! They got this all screwed up...
[makes a few corrections: "Works on contingency basis? No, money
down!"]
Bart: So you _don't_ work on a contingency basis?
Hutz: No, money down! Oops, it shouldn't have this Bar Association logo
here either.
-- Rewriting the laws by himself,
"The Day the Violence Died"
Related:
- Gladys: "... and that has made all the difference." Now let's get down
to business.
[Hutz's voice on the tape] To my executor, Lionel ... - Judge: Mr. Hutz, we've been in here for four hours.
Do you have any evidence at all? Hutz: Well... - Bart: Hey Dad, can I have a thousand dollars?
Homer:
All right... [gets his wallet] Wait a minute! For what... - Bart: Keep the trial going, I'll be right back.
Hutz:
Your Honor, I'd like to call all of my surprise witnesses... - Hutz: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to prove to you not only that
Freddy Quimby is guilty,
but that he is also innocent of _not_ being... - I owed my friend George $25. For about three weeks I owed it to him.
The whole time I had the money on me---he didn't know... - Jessica: You're right about everything, Bart. [sighs] I have been too
reckless.
From now on, I am going to settle down. [dumps... - Troy: [voiceover] When Homer sold his soul for a donut,
he found Hell isn't all it's cracked up to... - Wiggum: Son, you wait here while Daddy tries to talk some sense into
this raving derelict.
[the man raves as Wiggum walks up] Wiggum: [motioning]...
