ET Man: Tonight, all Hollywood's wondering who'll be chosen to co-star
in the big new McBain pic, Mc Bain IV: Fatal Discharge.
[phone rings]
Parker: Oh, you're watching?
Troy: Mac, you gotta get me that part!
Parker: I will, but you gotta do something for me; problem is the big
parts these days are all going to family men.
Troy: But I already got married!
Parker: Yeah, for a role like this, you gotta pour it on. You and your,
er, wife have gotta have a baby.
Troy: A baby, eh? What do I do?
Parker: I'll send you over a pamphlet. Listen, you can't buy that kind
of P.R., but you can get it for nothing by having a baby,
which, by the way, your insurance will cover, except for the
deductible which I'll reimburse you for if you get the part
which you will if you have a baby.
Troy: C'est Troi Bien!
Parker: Okay. Now listen, let's talk baby names. You can't use Montana,
Dakota or Florida, they're taken...
Troy: Hmm... Oregon?
Parker: Oh, Pacific North-West, very hot.
-- "A Fish Called Selma"
in the big new McBain pic, Mc Bain IV: Fatal Discharge.
[phone rings]
Parker: Oh, you're watching?
Troy: Mac, you gotta get me that part!
Parker: I will, but you gotta do something for me; problem is the big
parts these days are all going to family men.
Troy: But I already got married!
Parker: Yeah, for a role like this, you gotta pour it on. You and your,
er, wife have gotta have a baby.
Troy: A baby, eh? What do I do?
Parker: I'll send you over a pamphlet. Listen, you can't buy that kind
of P.R., but you can get it for nothing by having a baby,
which, by the way, your insurance will cover, except for the
deductible which I'll reimburse you for if you get the part
which you will if you have a baby.
Troy: C'est Troi Bien!
Parker: Okay. Now listen, let's talk baby names. You can't use Montana,
Dakota or Florida, they're taken...
Troy: Hmm... Oregon?
Parker: Oh, Pacific North-West, very hot.
-- "A Fish Called Selma"
Related:
- phone rings]
Parker: Troy! Mac Parker. Ever hear of
Planet of the Apes? Troy: Uh... the movie or the... - Parker: Troy, my man, it's MacArthur Parker.
Troy
MacArthur Parker the agent? MacArthur Parker _my_ agent... - Parker: Okay, then get this: I think they want you to play McBain's
sidekick in
brace yourself, the new McBain movie! Troy: McBain's... - Parker: And listen, you keep getting seen in public with human females
and I can get you work in the _entertainment_ industry... - Parker: Hey sleep is for has-beens, my friend, and you're about to
have a very crowded schedule
This marriage scam is paying off big time. Bartender... - Troy: [drunk] Yeah, it's a good idea, Homer, but they've already made
some movies about WW II
Homer: Ah, hell... Well, what about Dracula? Troy... - Selma: You know, smoke actually smells good when it's coming out of
you
Oh, I'm all out. Troy: Here, try one of my cigars... - Rev.: I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss
each other. [as Troy turns himself to smile... - Selma: Well, thanks for holding up your end of the bargain
I had a pretty good time. Troy: [sounding tired]...
