ET Man: Tonight, all Hollywood's wondering who'll be chosen to co-star
in the big new McBain pic, Mc Bain IV: Fatal Discharge.
[phone rings]
Parker: Oh, you're watching?
Troy: Mac, you gotta get me that part!
Parker: I will, but you gotta do something for me; problem is the big
parts these days are all going to family men.
Troy: But I already got married!
Parker: Yeah, for a role like this, you gotta pour it on. You and your,
er, wife have gotta have a baby.
Troy: A baby, eh? What do I do?
Parker: I'll send you over a pamphlet. Listen, you can't buy that kind
of P.R., but you can get it for nothing by having a baby,
which, by the way, your insurance will cover, except for the
deductible which I'll reimburse you for if you get the part
which you will if you have a baby.
Troy: C'est Troi Bien!
Parker: Okay. Now listen, let's talk baby names. You can't use Montana,
Dakota or Florida, they're taken...
Troy: Hmm... Oregon?
Parker: Oh, Pacific North-West, very hot.
-- "A Fish Called Selma"
in the big new McBain pic, Mc Bain IV: Fatal Discharge.
[phone rings]
Parker: Oh, you're watching?
Troy: Mac, you gotta get me that part!
Parker: I will, but you gotta do something for me; problem is the big
parts these days are all going to family men.
Troy: But I already got married!
Parker: Yeah, for a role like this, you gotta pour it on. You and your,
er, wife have gotta have a baby.
Troy: A baby, eh? What do I do?
Parker: I'll send you over a pamphlet. Listen, you can't buy that kind
of P.R., but you can get it for nothing by having a baby,
which, by the way, your insurance will cover, except for the
deductible which I'll reimburse you for if you get the part
which you will if you have a baby.
Troy: C'est Troi Bien!
Parker: Okay. Now listen, let's talk baby names. You can't use Montana,
Dakota or Florida, they're taken...
Troy: Hmm... Oregon?
Parker: Oh, Pacific North-West, very hot.
-- "A Fish Called Selma"
Related:
- phone rings]
Parker: Troy! Mac Parker. Ever hear of.
Planet of the Apes? Troy: Uh... the movie or the... - Parker: Troy, my man, it's MacArthur Parker.
Troy:
MacArthur Parker the agent? MacArthur Parker _my_ agent... - Parker: Okay, then get this: I think they want you to play McBain's
sidekick in.
brace yourself, the new McBain movie! Troy: McBain's... - Parker: And listen, you keep getting seen in public with human females,
and I can get you work in the _entertainment_ industry... - Parker: Hey sleep is for has-beens, my friend, and you're about to
have a very crowded schedule.
This marriage scam is paying off big time. Bartender... - Troy: [drunk] Yeah, it's a good idea, Homer, but they've already made
some movies about WW II.
Homer: Ah, hell... Well, what about Dracula? Troy... - Selma: You know, smoke actually smells good when it's coming out of
you.
Oh, I'm all out. Troy: Here, try one of my cigars... - Rev.: I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss.
each other. [as Troy turns himself to smile... - Selma: Well, thanks for holding up your end of the bargain.
I had a pretty good time. Troy: [sounding tired]...
From the same category:
- Bart: Hey Santa, what's shakin', man?
Homer: [as Santa] What's your name,
Bart...ner? Uh, little partner? Bart: I'm Bart Simpson... - Apu: Excuse me, Your Honor? I'd like to bring something to the
court's attention.
[removes "open eye" glasses from snoring, drooling... - If I could just say a few words... I'd be a better public speaker.
Homer J. Simpson, "Much Apu About... - Edna: Tighten those braids, Missy...hoist your flag,
Dooley... Nelson, you look adorable. Nelson... - Gladys: "... and that has made all the difference." Now let's get down
to business.
[Hutz's voice on the tape] To my executor, Lionel ...
