Burns: Smithers, this beer isn't working. I don't feel any younger or funkier.

Burns: Smithers, this beer isn't working. I don't feel any younger
or funkier.
Smithers: I'll switch to the tablespoon, sir.
-- As long as the bubbles don't burn your tongue,
"Homer the Smithers"

Related:

• Burns: Is it supposed to take this long? What's a good time for a mass evacuation of the entire plant?
  Smithers: Forty five seconds. Burns: And what's...
• Burns: Smithers, who is this saucy fellow? Smithers:
  Homer Simpson, sir. Sector sieben-Grueber, I mean...
• Burns: Who was that young hellcat, Smithers? Smithers:
  Homer Simpson, sir. Burns: Simpson, eh? I'll remember...
• Burns: Good Lord, Smithers! You look atrocious. I thought I told you to take a vacation.
  Homer: Uh, Smithers already left, sir. I'm his replacement...
• Smithers: Would you feel more comfortable if I left,
  too, sir? Burns: Of course not, Smithers. You're...
• Burns: [overcome with emotion] I love you, Smithers.
  Smithers: The feeling is more than mutual, sir. ...
• Homer: I'm really sorry I hit you Mr. Burns. Here, let me put some salt on that eye.
  Burns: [frightened] No, please, I can't bear another...
• Burns: You should've seen the murderous glint in his eyes,
  Smithers. And his breath reeked of beer and pretzeled...
• Burns: Smithers, I've been thinking. Is it wrong to cheat to win a million-dollar bet?
  Smithers: Yes, sir. Burns: Let me rephrase that...