Homer: One for "Honk", please.
Ticketeer: Oh. Gee, uh, just a minute. I have to check with the
manager.
[to manager] That overweight guy wants to see the movie.
Manager: I'm terribly sorry, sir, but I'm afraid our facilities are
not equipped to meet your needs.
Homer: What are you talking about?
Manager: What I'm saying, sir, is that a man of your carriage couldn't
possibly fit in our seats.
Homer: I can sit in the aisle.
Manager: I'm afraid that would violate the fire code.
Bystander: Hey, Fatty! I've got a movie for ya: "A Fridge Too Far"!
[HA]
-- Low fat-jokes, "King-Size Homer"
Ticketeer: Oh. Gee, uh, just a minute. I have to check with the
manager.
[to manager] That overweight guy wants to see the movie.
Manager: I'm terribly sorry, sir, but I'm afraid our facilities are
not equipped to meet your needs.
Homer: What are you talking about?
Manager: What I'm saying, sir, is that a man of your carriage couldn't
possibly fit in our seats.
Homer: I can sit in the aisle.
Manager: I'm afraid that would violate the fire code.
Bystander: Hey, Fatty! I've got a movie for ya: "A Fridge Too Far"!
[HA]
-- Low fat-jokes, "King-Size Homer"
Related:
- Homer: Shame on all of you. Give me my dignity! I just came here to
see "Honk If You're Horny" in peace.
Manager: Sir, if you'd just quiet down, I'd be happy... - Manager: Homer, I'm sorry. There's nothing worse than a yellow-bellied
freak.
unless that's his act. I expect your letter of resignation... - Homer: Welcome to the Simpson residence or "casa de Simpson," as I
call it.
Grimes: Yeah, what did you want to see me about,... - phone rings]
Kent: Well it looks like we have our first caller.
and I mean ever, because this is not a call... - Sir, I run Hullabalooza's pageant of the transmundane -
the freak show, and I've been looking for a big fatso... - Tatum: Homer, your manager obviously loves you very much.
Lucius, would you do that for me? Lucius: Absolutely... - Homer: Er, I need another extension on my mortgage payments.
Manager: I understand that Mr. Simpson, but according... - Hank: Uh, hi, Homer. What can I do for you?
Homer: Sir,
I need to know where I can get some business hammocks... - Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish. Caresses it, experience it...
From the same category:
- Hey, landlord! Some clown changed my locks, padlocked the door,
and put on an eviction notice! -- Otto, "Otto... - Barlow: My friends, isn't this just typical? Another intelligent
conservative here,
railroaded by our liberal justice system, just... - Burns: Ah, well, if it isn't the Simps!
Homer: Uh, it's Simp-son,
sir. Burns: Eh? [refers to the index card] Oh, yes... - Oh, Doctor! A 98-yard triple-reverse ties the score at 63-
63! We have seen nothing but razzle-dazzle here today... - Marge: Don't worry, kids. This is a national park.
We can have lots of fun! Ranger: Oh, I'm afraid...
