Marge: All right, we'll give the dogs one more chance. As long as
the puppies don't do anything else wrong, they stay. Hmm. On
a completely unrelated topic, I'm having a very, very
important dinner party tonight.
Homer: Splendid! Who's coming?
Marge: Reverend Lovejoy, your old army drill sergeant, and the
regional director of the IRS.
[that night]
Lovejoy: Oh, just lovely, Marge. The whole town will hear what a
perfect evening this was -- how nothing at all went wrong.
Sergeant: Simpson! This evening has gone so flawlessly, I'm going to
forget that you were mistakenly let out of the army a month
early.
Auditor: And I'm so impressed by this problem-free evening that there's
no need for that audit.
Togther: A toast...to the Simpsons!
Sergeant: And to that delectable turkey...that's walking around the
table?!
Lovejoy: Dear Lord, it's a demon-bird!
[the turkey breaks open; two puppies wrestle inside]
[the guests retch into their napkins and leave]
Sergeant: Simpson! See you at reveille, 0500 tomorrow.
Auditor: See you at the IRS!
Lovejoy: See you in hell! [slams door, then pops head back in] From
heaven. [slams door]
-- The dinner goes horribly awry,
"Two Dozen & One Greyhounds"
the puppies don't do anything else wrong, they stay. Hmm. On
a completely unrelated topic, I'm having a very, very
important dinner party tonight.
Homer: Splendid! Who's coming?
Marge: Reverend Lovejoy, your old army drill sergeant, and the
regional director of the IRS.
[that night]
Lovejoy: Oh, just lovely, Marge. The whole town will hear what a
perfect evening this was -- how nothing at all went wrong.
Sergeant: Simpson! This evening has gone so flawlessly, I'm going to
forget that you were mistakenly let out of the army a month
early.
Auditor: And I'm so impressed by this problem-free evening that there's
no need for that audit.
Togther: A toast...to the Simpsons!
Sergeant: And to that delectable turkey...that's walking around the
table?!
Lovejoy: Dear Lord, it's a demon-bird!
[the turkey breaks open; two puppies wrestle inside]
[the guests retch into their napkins and leave]
Sergeant: Simpson! See you at reveille, 0500 tomorrow.
Auditor: See you at the IRS!
Lovejoy: See you in hell! [slams door, then pops head back in] From
heaven. [slams door]
-- The dinner goes horribly awry,
"Two Dozen & One Greyhounds"
Related:
- Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish. Caresses it, experience it... - Lovejoy: Can you believe it? They give you five "Q"s and only two
"U"s.
What a world. Marge: That's crazy. Lovejoy: So... - Homer: Welcome to the Simpson residence or "casa de Simpson," as I
call it.
Grimes: Yeah, what did you want to see me about,... - Lovejoy: Marge, we can't tell you how sorry we are.
Ned: You have our deepest condol-diddely-olences. ... - Bart: Mr. Burns, I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I want to
go home to my family.
Burns: [sighs] I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell... - Marge: All done. I swept the aisles and put all the collection
plates in the dishwasher.
Oh -- and you wouldn't believe how many dead... - Marge: Reverend Lovejoy, I had a bit of an ulterior motive in
inviting you to dinner.
Rev. Lovejoy: [surprised and angry] What!? -- "Homer... - Marge: But you can't let a few bad experiences sour you on helping
people.
Lovejoy: Oh, sure I can. [the phone rings]...
