Lisa: That's the book I need. You'll probably take forever with it

Lisa: That's the book I need. You'll probably take forever with
it, too.
Hugh: I can read faster than you.
Lisa: I read at a 78th grade level.
Hugh: [opens book, slaps it on a table] Right here!
[they both read frantically]
Lisa: [much later] Finish this page?
Hugh: Ages ago.
Lisa: Grr...
Hugh: I'll get the dictionary.
Lisa: Why?
Hugh: You'll see when you get there: the word "stochastic".
Lisa: "Pertaining to a process involving a randomly-determined
sequence of observations". [laughs]
[they look at each other, then embrace passionately]
Librarian: [looking on] Hmph. First they hate other, now all of a
sudden they _love_ each other. Oh, it doesn't make any sense
to me.
Man: Of course not, you're a robot.
[the librarian weeps; her tearduct malfunctions and her head
melts]
-- The improperly designed librarian, "Lisa's Wedding"