Hello, Simpson. I'm riding the bus today because Mother hid my car keys to punish me for talking to a woman on the phone.

Hello, Simpson. I'm riding the bus today because Mother hid my car keys
to punish me for talking to a woman on the phone. She was right to do
it.
-- Seymour "Norman" Skinner, "Treehouse of Horror IV"

Related:

• Skinner: Now I've gotten word that a child is using his imagination.
  and I've come to put a stop to it! Bart: [desperate]...
• Bart: Look at the bus. I was right, I tell you, I was right!
  Skinner: [sternly] Right or wrong, your behavior was...
• Bart: The gremlin's taking off the wheel. Stop the bus or we're all gonna die!
  [Seymour grabs him in a headlock] Willy: Take me bridle...
• Skinner: Bart! Heh heh, welcome. Can I offer you a Diet Caffeine-Free Dr.
  Pepper or an individual fruit cocktail cup? Bart...
• Lisa: [breathlessly] Mom, Dad: Mr. Burns is a vampire,
  and he has Bart! Burns: Why, Bart is right here. Bart...
• Skinner: Mmmm. This dessert is exquisite. What do you call it?
  Krabappel: Applesauce. Skinner: [chuckles] Oh, of...
• Skinner: It's coming pretty close to the ground, maybe I can catch it.
  Don't touch the telescope, Bart. A slight change in...
• Skinner: Oh, I hope I didn't miss the floor show. Bart:
  Nope. Skinner: Is Roxanne back? Bart: Yep. Skinner...
• Homer: {[ringing doorbell] Sugar man! [eats some from the bag]} Skinner:
  {Door-to-door sugar? [chuckles] What a marvelous idea...