Did you hear about the careless contortionist who accidentally

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• Did you hear about the absent minded sculptor who put
  his model to bed and started chiseling on his wife...
• Did you hear about the basketball player who was so
  tall that his girlfriend had to go up on him...
• Did you hear about the french soldier who kisses both
  his wife's cheeks before he went to the front...
• Did you hear about the loner who gave up his solitary vice for Lent
  except on Palm Sunday...
• Did you hear about the shepherd who drove his sheep
  through town and was given a ticket for making a ewe...
• Did you hear about the absent-minded exhibitionist
  who was arrested for exposing his whatchamacalit...
• Did you hear about the fellow who chased his girlfriend
  up a tree and kissed her between the limbs...
• Did you hear about the jealous black activist who suspected
  that his wife was involved in some honkie-panky...
• Did you hear about the Newfie Who wouldn't go out with
  his wife because she was married...