If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
Related:
- I don't exercise. I'm Jewish. If God had wanted me to bend
over,
he would have put diamonds on the floor. JOAN... - I was a tiny baby when I was born. Really tiny. I was breast-fed
intravenously.
I had to have a special nurse 'cause I was so little... - You are standing on
my toes... - If God hadn't wanted me to be paranoid,
He wouldn't have given me such a vivid... - If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads,
he would have made them cute and furry. -- Dave... - If God had wanted people to give blow jobs,
he wouldn't have given them teeth... - I was offered a job as a hoodlum and I turned it down cold.
A thief is anybody who gets out and works for his living...
From the same category:
- If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country... - What's the sound a name makes when it's
dropped... - Virtue is its own
punishment... - Good judgment comes from experience, and experience-
well, that comes from poor judgment... - The philosophy exam was a piece of cake - which was a bit of a
surprise,
actually, because I was expecting some questions on...
