Captain of the Exxon Valdez to Third Mate: "I said SCOTCH on the rocks,

Captain of the Exxon Valdez to Third Mate: "I said SCOTCH on the rocks, not
STOP on the rocks!" The only thing that remained loaded on the Valdez was
the captain. The whole affair gives an entirely new meaning to the packing
of sardines in oil. This tragic event has alerted people to wild life. The
bar on the Love Boat now shuts down at 8:30 PM. When informed of this sorry
event, Vice President Dan Quayle said that we should let foreign countries
take care of their own problems. Quayle was not allowed to go to Alaska and
view the damage, since no one could be found to go along to make sure his
pants were zipped, and he had his snow shoes on, and wore his cap.