Nurse Donna: Oh, Groucho, I'm afraid I'm gonna wind up an old maid.

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• Nurse Donna: Oh, Groucho, I'm afraid I'm gonna wind up an old maid.
  Groucho: Well, bring her in and we'll wind her up together...
• G M: So, Mrs. Smith, do you have any children? S:
  Yes, thirteen. G M: Thirteen! Good lord, isn't...
• On the old "You Bet Your Life" program, Groucho Marx was getting to know one of his contestants.
  The man told Groucho that he had 10 children. "Why...
• Nurse: [answers phone] Simpson. Grampa: Hot diggity!
  I don't care if it's bad news! Lisa: Oh, Grampa...
• Dick: Well, my time's almost up here, so, uh, I'd just like to say.
  I know Woody Allen. [a couple of people...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
  feel the slippery finish. Caresses it, experience it...
• I am a Marxist-
  of the Groucho tendency...
• If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
  Groucho Marx (1890...