I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always
end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy brows." Then they would get
embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and
they'd get mad and eat the snowman.
-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy brows." Then they would get
embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and
they'd get mad and eat the snowman.
-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
Related:
- I bet when the neanderthal kids would make a snowman,
someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget... - IF I HAD A MINE SHAFT, I don't think I would just abandon it.
There's got to be a better way. -- Jack Handley,... - IT MAKES ME MAD when I go to all the trouble of having Marta cook up about
a hundred drumsticks,
then the guy at Marineland says, "You can't throw that... - I THINK THERE SHOULD BE SOMETHING in science called the "reindeer effect."
I don't know what it would be,
but I think it'd be good to hear someone say, "Gentlemen... - I WISH I HAD A KRYPTONITE CROSS, because then you could keep both Dracula
and Superman away.
Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988... - I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on
the same day.
Then that night, they burned the wheel. -- Jack Handley... - I'D LIKE TO BE BURIED INDIAN-STYLE, where they put you up on a high rack,
above the ground. That way, you could get hit by meteorites... - I GUESS I KINDA LOST CONTROL because in the middle of the play I ran up
and lit the evil puppet villain on fire.
No, I didn't. Just kidding. I just said that to illustrate... - If there was a big gardening convention, and you got up and gave a speech in
favor of fast-motion gardening,
I bet you would get booed right off the stage. They're...
From the same category:
- Nose / the wax out of
her ears... - Joachim: "They're still running with shields down."
Khan:
"Of course, we are one big happy fleet!" -- "STII... - Many things happen between the cup and the lip.
--
Robert Burton (1577-1640) -- The Anatomy of Melancholy... - Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be?
And if, y'know, if I'm not like fer anyone else, then... - I was hitting some horrible shots one time. It wasn't unusual for me.
I turned to the old guy who was caddying for me, and...
