I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said,
"What'll you have, Bud"?
I said," I don't know, surprise me".
So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
"What'll you have, Bud"?
I said," I don't know, surprise me".
So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
Related:
- I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own."
One of them said,
"So will you." -- Rodney... - My boy is mean kid. I came home the other day and saw him taping worms
to the sidewalk,
he sits there and watches the birds get hernias. Well... - I once asked my father if things were bad for him during the Depression.
He said the first six months were bad, then he got... - I tell ya, gambling never agreed with me. Last week I went to the track
and they shot my horse with the opening gun.
Well, just last week I was at a Chinese restaurant... - I tell ya, I was an ugly kid. I was so ugly that my dad
kept the kid's picture that came with the wallet he bought.
Rodney... - When I was growing up my mother kept telling me we're just friends.
I tell ya I was an ugly kid. I was so ugly that my... - Casey came home from seeing the doctor looking very worried.
His wife said, "What's the problem?" He said, "The... - I went into this bar and sat down next to a pretty girl.
She looked at me and said, "Hey, you have two different... - She was ugly! She was known as a two-bagger. That's a girl who's so ugly,
when you go out with her you put a bag over your head...
From the same category:
- Whenever in time, and wherever in the universe, any man speaks or
writes in any detail about the technical management of a poem,
the resulting irascibility of the reader's response... - No one really knows enough to be a
pessimist... - Imagination is more important than knowledge.
-- A.... - Colvard's Logical Premises:
All probabilities are 50%.
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"It is right before your eyes," said the master. "Why...
