What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move,

What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a
giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you
are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been
good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely,
consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.
-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"