TELESCOPE, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that
of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us
with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a
bell summoning us to the sacrifice.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us
with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a
bell summoning us to the sacrifice.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
Related:
- RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get
away from where we are to wher we are no better off
For this purpose the railroad is held in highest favor... - FROG, n. A reptile with edible legs. The first mention of frogs in
profane literature is in Homer's narrative of the war between them and
the mice
Skeptical persons have doubted Homer's authorship of... - DICTATOR, n. The chief of a nation that prefers the pestilence of
despotism to the plague of anarchy
Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary... - PANTALOONS, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male
The garment is tubular and unprovided with hinges at... - NOISE, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music
The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization... - LOCK-AND-KEY, n. The distinguishing device of civilization and
enlightenment
Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary... - PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for
intellectual debility
Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary... - EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious
sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of
our neighbors
Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary... - MONEY, n. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we
part with it
An evidence of culture and a passport to polite society...
