Shit Happens' according to... Statistician: There is an 83.7% chance that shit will happen.

Related:

• Shit Happens' according to... Fatalism: Oh shit,
  it's going to happen...
• Shit Happens' according to... Physicist (Theoretical):
  Shit SHOULD happen...
• Shit Happens' according to... Social Scientist:
  Let's pretend that shit doesn't happen.....
• Shit Happens' according to... Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen;
  shit is. Shit happening is absurd...
• Shit Happens' according to... Purists: If shit has to happen,
  let ONLY shit happen...
• Shit Happens' according to... Chemist: I hope this shit doesn't blow up.
  Gee, what'll happen if I mix this and ... SHIT!!!...
• Shit Happens' according to... Epicurus: If shit happens,
  enjoy it...
• Shit Happens' according to... Biologist:
  Is this shit alive...
• Shit Happens' according to... Cannibalism:
  Don't eat the shit...