I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years,

Related:

• I wish I lived back in the old west days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy a solid-gold pick.
  Then I'd go out West and start digging for gold. ...
• Whenever anybody says he's struggling to become a human being I have to laugh because the apes beat him to it by about a million years.
  Struggle to become a parrot or something. -- Jack...
• I wish outer-space guys would conquer Earth and make people their pets,
  because I'd like to have one of those little basket...
• If I ever become a mummy, I'm going to have it so when somebody opens my lid,
  a boxing glove on a spring shoots out. -- Deep Thoughts...
• Just as bees will swarm about to protect their nest,
  so will I "swarm about" to protect my nest of chocolate...
• I wish my name was Todd, because then I could say, "Yes,
  my name's Todd. Todd Blankenship." Oh, also I wish...
• Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy",
  because I would have liked to stand up in class and...
• I have to laugh when I think of the first cigar, because it was probably just a bunch of rolled-up tobacco leaves.
  Deep Thoughts by Jack...
• I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
  Deep Thoughts, by Jack...