I was walking across a bridge one day, and i saw a man standing on the edge,

I was walking across a bridge one day, and i saw a man standing on
the edge, about to jump off. so i ran over and said "stop! don't
do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much
to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well...are you religious
or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are you christian
or buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you catholic
or protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me too! Are you
episcopalian or baptist?" He said, "Baptist!" I said, "Wow! Me
too! Are you baptist church of god or baptist church of the lord?"
He said, "Baptist church of god!" I said, "Me too! Are you original
baptist church of god, or are you reformed baptist church of god?"
He said, "Reformed baptist church of god!" I said, "Me too! Are
you reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1879, or reformed
baptist church of god, reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed baptist
church of god, reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum",
and pushed him off.
-- Emo Phillips