I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

Related:

• I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
  Rita...
• Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
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• Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times.
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• They caution pregnant women not to drink alcohol. It may harm the baby.
  I think that's ironic. If it wasn't for alcohol most...
• I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
  Rita...
• Cats are a waste of fur. -
  Rita...
• If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you,
  I want to marry you. I want to have children ..."...
• It wasn't broken.
  until I started playing with it...
• Never play peek-a-boo with a child on a long plane trip.
  There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him...