I've been married for forty-nine years and I'm still in love with the same woman.

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• I went to the bank and went over my savings. I found out I have all the money that I'll ever need.
  If I die tomorrow. -- Henny...
• My love is like an iron wand That conks me on the head,
  My love is like the valium That I take before my bed...
• Love's Drug My love is like an iron wand That conks me on the head,
  My love is like the valium That I take before...
• If naebody care for me, I 'll care for naebody. --
  Robert Burns (1759-1796) -- I hae a Wife o' my...
• I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
  Henny...
• I take my wife everywhere..
  but she keeps coming back...
• I gave up on my wife,
  and married my computer...
• My wife converted me to religion. I never believed in hell till I married her.
  - Hal...