If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire,

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• If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire,
  the next morning you will have a flat tire. Cannon's...
• You will have a flat tire before the end of the
  month...
• The gas-station attendant looks at the car and says,
  "You got a flat tire." I said, "No, the other three...
• You may be redneck...
  if you have a tire swing in you house...
• The tire is only flat on the bottom. --
  John L....
• field circus n. [a derogatory pun on `field service'] The field service organization of any hardware manufacturer,
  but originally DEC. There is an entire genre of...
• How do DEC repairmen change a flat tire?
  They replace each tire until they find the flat one...
• A rolling stone makes
  you flat...
• In your heart you know
  it's flat...