If you see an animal and you can't tell if it's a skunk or a cat,

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• If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength,
  I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness...
• Here's a good trick: Get a job as a judge at the Olympics.
  Then, if some guy sets a world record, pretend that...
• I bet it was pretty hard to pick up girls if you had the Black Death.
  Deep Thoughts by Jack...
• Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there,
  in the room, talking to you, which is why I don't...
• If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off.
  You see, we BUILD to that. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack...
• I bet the sparrow looks at the parrot and thinks, yes,
  you can talk, but LISTEN TO YOURSELF! -- Deep Thoughts...
• Here's a good gag if you go swimming in a swamp and when you com out you're all covered with leeches.
  Just say, "Hey, has anybody seen my raisins?" (Because...
• Here's a good tip for when you go to the beach: A sand dollar may look like a nice cracker that someone left,
  but trust me, they don't taste like it. -- Deep Thoughts...
• A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake,
  tell him you're going to go for help, then go about...