If you're ever shipwrecked on a tropical island and you don't know how to speak the natives' language,

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• If there's ever an amusement park called Bag World,
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• If you were a gladiator in olden days, I bet the inefficiency of how the gladiator fights were organized and scheduled would just drive you up a wall.
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• I bet the sparrow looks at the parrot and thinks, yes,
  you can talk, but LISTEN TO YOURSELF! -- Deep Thoughts...
• If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer,
  I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. -- Deep...
• If there was a big gardening convention, and you got up and gave a speech in favor of fast-motion gardening,
  I bet you would get booed right off the stage. They're...
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  I bet it's really embarrassing if someone tries to...
• If doctors ever tell you that you've "flipped out," don't believe them,
  and just keep on doing what you were doing, because...
• I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they choose a king,
  they don't just go by size, because I bet there are...