If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas,

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• If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He like enchiladas,
  because that's what He's getting...
• I hope that after I die, people will say of me: ``That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'' -
  Deep Thoughts, by Jack...
• I think in one of my previous lives I was a mighty king,
  because I like people to do what I say. -- Deep Thoughts...
• You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who makes people happy,
  but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea...
• There are many stages to a man's life. In the first stage,
  he is young and eager, like a beaver. In the second...
• I think a cute movie idea would be about a parrot who is raised by eagles.
  It would be cute because the parrot can't seem to...
• I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
  Deep Thoughts, by Jack...
• I hate it when people say somebody has a "speech impediment",
  even if he does, because it could hurt his feelings...
• Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it,
  and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess...