I broke my arm trying to fold a bed. It wasn't the kind that folds.

Related:

• I woke up and started folding my bed back into a couch and almost broke both my arms,
  because it's not one of those beds! -- Steven...
• I broke my arm trying to hold open a revolving door
  for a girl...
• I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
  Steven...
• I had my coathangers spayed. --
  Steven...
• I broke a mirror in my house. I'm supposed to get seven years of bad luck,
  but my lawyer thinks he can get me five." -- Steven...
• In bed the other night my girlfriend asked "if you could know exactly when and where you would die,
  would you want to?" I said "no". She said, "ok, then...
• I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one.
  It wasn't doing what I was doing. I tried to DRAW...
• My views on evolution? I think Darwin was adopted. -
  Steven Wright...
• I bought some land that was kind of cheap. It was on someone else's property.
  Steven...